You are currently browsing the monthly archive for August 2011.
You may have noticed the lack of pictures the past few days. There is a reason that is completely beyond my control.
You cannot use the WordPress.com site to upload photos to the blog on an IPad. I have to use the fucktarded WordPress app.
Unfortunately, the WordPress app has decided it has the correct password for uploading blog posts,but not for uploading pictures.
Btw they are one in the same.don’t get me started. This has been going on for a few days now and driving me batty.
There doesn’t appear to be a fix. Luckily, I am back in the states this weekend so next week I will pick up with my travel blog posts.
And huge apology that they aren’t real time, but China made that impossible by not allowing me to access my blog at all for three weeks.
To make up for it, I will start posting 6 days a week until I catch up. That will give me a bit of time to settle back into CT life, and get over this bout of sickness that has taken me down for over a week. Grrr.
We hit rush hour traffic and I pass out.OL wakes me as I arrive at the hotel at 8:30. We check into our room which is clean but reeks of stale cigarette smoke. Ew. Biggest pet peeve on the mainland is their cigarette addiction.
Pass out for 4 hours. Around 12:30pm we wake up in need of food. Plan to hit food court in Raffles mall. Ask front desk for lunch place and they suggest a 20-30$ per person place nearby, Yuan yuan.
We go with plan b and head to the subway. Signs are in English and Chinese which helps. We decide to buy the add value card. But it doesn’t have a specific name and you cant buy it at the ticket machine.
So I’m forced to pull out my old Chinese and try to communicate. This is interesting. I can speak but my understanding of the reply is problematic. After a few fits and starts, we finally manage to buy the card. Then you have to put your stuff through a metal detector to get on subway. Wow.
We get on subway marveling at how similar they are to HK. Wonder who copied who.
Arrive at People’s square stop. Exit 15 is for Raffles City which is the name for Raffles Mall in Chinese. We explore the mall. Food court looks good. We go to Ajisen Ramen. Not as good as HK. They also give you bill before food arrives.
Wander through mall. Then head outside. Go to renmin park which is gorgeous. Lotus flower pond and shade. Picturesque pathways.Have latte at famous Barbarossa. Arabian nights designed lounge. Stumble on falls.
Wander to look for Tomorrow’s Square. Missed it on first go. Finally find it. Thanks to guidebook saying it looks like Saruman’s tower. Go to 38th fl/ JW Marriott lobby for great views of Shanghai. Snap some pictures.
Wander around more and find People’s Square. Sit beside fountain. Watch grandma clapping hands and stomping feet walking in sorta circle. Over and over again. She definitely marched to the beat of her own drummer. But she got her blood pumping. End up in underground malls that were once bomb shelters. DMall and Hong Kong Shopping center. Walk back to food court but too overwhelmed by shear crowds of people to eat. Leave and take taxi to hotel.
Venture out at 8:30 to eat. Very few restaurants near hotel. One too smoky. Cross street and double back. All restaurants now on other side of 4 lane impossible to cross road. We get across finally. All weird stuff like bullfrogs. Ew. Finally find place and get dumplings and veggies for OL.
They don’t speak any English so again out comes my Chinese. Rusty as hell. But I try. Waitress correct me a few times. Lol. Then rice arrives with yellow speckles in it. I have to ask what it is and confirm not eggs for OL. Manage to do this.
Dinner cost 41 yuan. $6 for two people. At one point stopped at convenience store for cheetos and bun. So afraid not find restaurants.
We come back to wired Internet at hotel, which means using lobby terminals that take forever. Think 1996 dial up experience. 20 minutes to reply to two emails and delete 15. Ugh. Are you kidding me?
I decide I cannot do internet like this. It’s de-evolution. Mind you there are a ton of f-bombs flying from my mouth. To make matters worse,the computer terminal is stand up so you pace while you wait.Or I do anyways.
On way to room, we spy a small open courtyard, people on laptops. Decide they may have wireless and check it out.turns out they do. And it’s fast. Just in that courtyard. So I reply to emails and feel relatively sane again.
return to room which still reeks of smoke. Though no one is smoking in here. Grrr.
Blog and prepare for bed.
Phuket airport has restored my faith in American airports. Seriously whenever you feel the urge to bitch about the US, visit a foreign country. Like Thailand.
The second you walk through the double doors of sliding glass you are faced with an x-ray and security. Everything must go through the screening.
Then you walk to a monitor to find out which check-in counter is for your flight. Ours is Shanghai Airlines counter 26 and 27.
They are still boarding the prior flight. So we wait. A group of Chinese are milling about but no one is in line yet. Until the counter monitors change to reflect our Shanghai flight.
Suddenly everyone surges toward the counters. No lines really. Just blurred flows congregating near each check in counter. We line up at the individual check-in. Big Mistake.
The fat asshole, who I dubbed Fat Bastard, decides this is his line. He is going to use it to check in a tour group of fifty people. So he brings all their passports up to get the tickets. Then he motions for all of them to cut the line and check their bags.
Unfucking believable. Major major cojones. I would love to be that big an asshole. He lounges at the counter like he owns the place. Fat Bastard.
We are now stuck in place as all his tour people shove ahead of us and everyone behind us refuses to give an inch. The line next to us won’t let us in. Everyone is yelling in Chinese. People are infuriated by Fat Bastard, but he don’t care.
Finally, we walk out of line and go to the end of the far right group check-in line.
When we get up there, the check-in attendant tells us it is always like this. She laughs with us about Fat Bastard. Gives us emergency exit seats so we’ll have more leg room.
We take quick look at souvenir store and realize we saved money getting ripped off in town.
We decide to hit customs. Get in the Caucasian line to avoid another disaster where 50 Chinese cut in front of us again. Our line moves smoothly. Although 3-4 Chinese are arguing about something.
We get to waiting area. I eat some Ham and Cheese sandwich Lays chips. They were delicious. Then I had some corn buggles with cheese coating. Even better. Ate a slim Jim. We watched Romeo and Juliet touching and kissing while we waited for plane. I told OL you touch my nose, I vomit on you.
Then we think the gate changes because it changes on the gate monitor and the main monitor list. Head from gate 66 to 5. But it’s a glitch. Ten minutes later monitors switch back.
I pee again. This time there is toilet paper. It seems to be something Thailand always under stocks. At the hotel and in public restrooms.
We begin boarding at 12:05 am. Boarding involves everyone going through with their boarding pass, departure card, and passport. This is very confusing for the over 50 people who keep holding the line up searching their bags for all these pieces of paper.
Won’t let anyone by despite the stewardess trying to take my boarding paperwork. Grrr. Then we go through a gate to a bus which shuttles us to the stairs to board the plane. Shades of Easy Jet in Venice.
On the bus, a guy takes a seat from a gimpy old lady forcing her to use her cane to walk up 4 stairs to another seat. Wow makes Hong Kongers look downright polite. Plane is a six seat per row with one tiny aisle to the bathrooms in back. We are in seats 12a and b.
No one sits in 12c. Thank goodness. But the exit row seats have walls between the seats that don’t let you expand outward. Squash the butt and thighs into a tiny seat.
The flight is about 5 hours. They hand out drinks and snack boxes. Bun, coconut muffin, chocolate, raisins. Then they proceed to leave the seat belt sign on for the entire flight.
Guess what I gotta pee. So three times I got up and went.
First time, they were collecting boxes and two carts blocked my way back to my seat. So I had to reshut myself in the bathroom.
My claustrophobia kicks in because I know I can’t get out until the cart passes. So to distract myself I pee again. Then I get out and realize the other cart is still coming so I hop into the other restroom.
Btw, did I mention I’m the first one in both but they both reek of urine. Think gas station with one restroom stench.
Second round of claustrophobia. Now I attempt to pop a zit in my jaw to distract myself but it’s one of those not yet ready to burst zits.
Finally, I get out of the urine stench and head to my seat. I end up dozing on and off for 3 hours. Nice.
Though I get very sweaty. And my neck hurts from the position I’m cramping into.
Landing goes smoothly. But for the guy who refuses to put his seatbelt on and the woman who decides she’s going pee whether or not we are descending already.
What an experience. We disembark to a bus to the Shanghai Pudong Airport, which is very modern with signs in English and Chinese. Reminds me of HK.
Except the people from the flight are so aggressive. Elbowing and shoving. I can’t believe anyone says New Yorkers are rude. Compared to the Chinese they are Queen Elizabeth proper.
Pushing is a way of life here. So I just have to be my biggest baddest self.
I hit the ATM and the currency exchange to get rid of my baht. Super efficient. OL got the luggage. We walked outside to the taxi stand and got a taxi to the Asset Hotel.
We woke up at 9:45 for Bfast at The Orchid. I got the American breakfast for 150 baht. Fresh pineapple and watermelon, orange juice, scrambled eggs, toast, bacon, ham and sausage with coffee. OL got his yogurt with granola and fresh fruit.
Then we packed up all my souvenirs and taxied to the post office. Weighed 22lbs. Cost 100$ to send it all back to USA. Will arrive in a month.
Post office was super efficient here. Boxes sold there. Only accept cash though. We finished and doubled back along 4 lane super smoggy road. I coughed because my throat went suddenly crackly dry. Had to stop for gum break. Cut over to main road and up to Tai Na Rd for lunch at Lucky Tom’s.
I had the beef with oyster sauce and baby corn and satay chicken with Thai iced tea. OL had peanut curry chicken with rice. We split our final mango and sticky rice. Sigh.
We walked back and the clouds covered over the sun, but it got hotter with no breeze. Sweat dripped off me. So gross.
Rested in room and watched I’m Alive episode. One was a man stung by deadly jellyfish. Totally felt for him.
The other was about two hunters who wouldn’t let 9-11 interrupt their hunting holiday. Nope, the drove 16.5 hours to hunt since planes were problematic.
They are hunting elks when a bear hunts them. Kinda appropriate. I’m rooting for the bear because I hate killing of animals for sport.
So when one guy hides and the other gets mauled I kinda giggle. And when the hiding guy only comes out of hiding because his friend is screaming for help I giggle again.
Then the bumbling friend decides to pepper spray the bear. So he runs toward it spraying the pepper spray.
Do you see a problem here? He’s running into the stream of pepper spray. So he’s blinded.
He does get the bear though. But he can’t help his friend because he’s blinded.
It’s so Koliver. Ofc I’d be the jack ass with the pepper spray.
The program ends. We head to Kata Big Rock II for a Thai and coconut oil massage. Our final in Thailand. Delightful.
Return to the hotel relaxed. Watch more Discovery Channel. After OL showers, we have our final dinner at The Orchid. I have coconut water, satay chicken, and chicken in ginger. We each get the bananas in warm coconut milk for dessert.
Head back to the room to shower and pack up everything. We watch a show about crocodilian researchers. Crazy mofos. Swim with crocks. Eek.
We check out at 8:40 and find out checkout involves someone physically checking our room. Wow intense.
Guess they get lots of bad guests there. Hotel worker had a super thick accent. He says something to me and I’m like what? He repeats himself. I can’t figure out what he wants. I say to OL i can’t. I just cant. Ol takes over. We take a hotel run 1000 baht taxi to airport.
Didn’t roll out of bed until 11ish. For some reason I wake up more tired than I fell asleep feeling. We hit The Orchid for breakfast. Thai omelette and toast and coffee for me.OL has his yogurt thingy. It’s a frou frou breakfast so they always deliver it to me.
It’s overcast with thick white cloud coverage. We go to room to wait it out. I blog and OL reads. Around 1ish the maid demands to clean our room. We say 1hr. Then it’s decision time. It is agreed that we want to have a last beach day even if the weather isn’t cooperating.
We wanted to go to Nai Harn beach because it looked so clean and so nice yesterday. We tuk-tuk there. It’s pretty deserted although the rain has stopped. Still its super cloudy and windy. So the waves are rougher than usual and there is no swimming area.
But people still venture into the water. Fuck it. So do we. They cant all be stupid, right? Ol asks aren’t we doing it because they are?
The sand is courser and darker gold here. The water is still crystal green-blue. Even on a cloudy day.
The sand tends to drop off quickly and you have to be careful. Basically areas that look like cappuccino are Safest. It means there are sand bars and the sand is close to the surface. If it’s sparkling green blue be afraid. That shit is deep.
The sand is also unstable in the gullies between the sand bars and you can’t get a footing. Even in three feet of water. And it suddenly becomes five feet.
We stuck to where groups were. I turned to OL and said, “I always feel safer when dad’s around. Doesn’t have to be mine. Any dad will do.”
I also told him that if it comes down to me or him drowning, I’ll drown him and use him as a flotation device back to the beach. JK!
We had a ball wading in the water. OL complained that my breasts kept splashing him. It was the ocean waves rolling up my body. Though it did make a big splash.
We tried to build a castle but once again we got bogged down in the moat building. Or the ocean destroying our moat. The look of disgust on my face made OL laugh.
He suggests returning to the water for more waves and wading.
We had a late lunch at Food Mama an outdoor restaurant facing the ocean. Stunning. Even with some light rain. A daring bird stole some of OL’s chicken right off his plate as it was being served.
The rice came shaped like a star.
I had chicken in oyster sauce and rice. He had the garlic and pepper chicken. We both had coconut water served inside the coconut. And they gave us a platter of free fruit in season. Longan, rambutan, mangosteen, pineapple, and watermelon.
We kept our money in a ziplock bag in OL’s swim trunks’ secret zipper pocket. However, when we went to pay, the money was wet.
Best lunch ever in Phuket. This was how I envisioned Thailand.
After lunch, we ventured back into the water for more wading in the waves. OL again complained about how my breasts splashing him. This set off a splashing battle of sorts.
Neither of us really wants to blind the other and I’ve got contacts in. So it’s a silly playful thing.
We watched two couples compete over who is more lovey dovey. Each lifting their girlfriend into the waves.
woman with garish red lipstick in bikini freaks me out. How does she keep the lipstick on in the water?
Sun sets early down here. Starts getting sunsetty around 5:30. Twilightish. Peach and lavender skies.
OL and I talk about my future while two dogs come around and one goes to bed under OL’s chair. OL is supportive of the writing thing, but I’m starting to doubt that goal. Maybe achieving the dream of my Asia trip means it’s time to reassess other dreams and goals. Figure out what makes me happy.
The sky darkens and we realize it’s time to conduct a tuk-tuk search. We go back where our tuk-tuk dropped us off yesterday but the tuk-tuk stands are empty. In fact, the entire area looks closed for the season.
So we go back to where we ate lunch and wander. Finally, OL asks the massage ladies where we can get a tuk-tuk. They say there are none, but they have taxis. We walk to the taxi stand which had a tuk-tuk style bus sitting there. He agrees to take us back to the hotel for 400baht.
After two quick showers, we go to the massage place for a Thai and a coconut oil massage. The best massages ever.
We emerged punch drunk and sillified. Get two minor downpours as we search for book mark man. Not around, we head to the Orchid for dinner.
Again i must remind OL to remove his shoes before putting his monzard paws inside the laundry place.
At the Orchid, OL gets pork in peanut sauce. I get the prawns with glass noodles in a hot pot.
Big mistake. They serve the prawns with their legs and heads still on. I cant deal with deshelling them. Look ripping anything’s legs off seems barbaric. I can’t do it. I couldn’t even look at them without getting the gag reflex.
OL remains completely calm. Asking what I want to do. I say I can’t eat this. I secretly want to run of the restaurant rather than deal with confrontation and language barriers.
Finally, I ask for the menu to order something else. They are all perplexed by my actions. When the beef in oyster sauce comes I ask them to remove the prawn dish. It makes me feel ill.
We drink our coconut water and then finish with the bananas in warm coconut milk.
Best desert at the Orchid.
I am yanked back to consciousness by the crinkling of plastic shrink wrap away from OL’s water bottle.
Monzard is awake and thirsty.
I roll over and stare at him. Gauging if this is a real wake up or a water and return to rest. He looks alert. Time to get up.
I was up at 6am with tummie troubles. Now it’s ten. Today we planned to explore. Plan to get a tuk-tuk.
But first a prawn Thai omelette and toast for me and bananas in porridge for OL at the Orchid.
Then we ask lobby about cost of tuk-tuk to Kata Noi beach and Laem Promthep.
Then we go to room and practice meditating. Decide to create our own tour hitting Laem Promthep viewing point at southern tip, Nai Harn beach, SamnakSong Nai Harn monastery, Kata Noi beach.
We ask the tuk-tuk driver cost and he says 1000baht for trip with stops. Then we set out. The ride is what I imagined Thailand to look like. Jungle, elephants, windy uphill roads. We pass Karon viewpoint and decide to add that on to the trip.
Laem Promthep is a famous place to watch sunsets. But on a sunny day the vistas are steal your breath away and you thank them amazing. The water is unbelievably clear and turquoise.
There’s a huge monument to elephants. A lighthouse. And Chin clipping views.
We walk back to tuk-tuk and go to Nai Harn beach. The most magnificent unspoiled beach in Phuket. Clear water. Way less garbage. More swimming areas too. Perfect turquoise, emerald green, and blue seas.
Unspoiled by tourists, jet skis, or shops. What I thought Phuket would be like.
Decide to come back tomorrow to go swimming on our last beach day here.
Samnak Song Nai Harn is very close and worth checking out. Small monastery. Just a few buildings. But one magnificent skillfully decorated temple.
We jumped back into the tuk-tuk and headed to Karon viewpoint, where you can photograph Kata Noi, Kata, and Karon beach. What a vista.
We headed down to Kata Noi beach which is as lovely at Nai Harn but had no swimming areas due to severe rip tides.
We took some pictures and leapt back into the tuk-tuk, requesting a drop off at the hotel. Because we added a stop and asked for a return to hotel we added150 baht. For 1200 baht we saw some truly stunning parts of Phuket.
We then did hotel photo taking of all 11pools. Then we cooled off in the room before lunching at The Orchid. I drank coconut water. It was refreshing and cooling. loved it!
I had the crab with glass noodles in a hot pot. Sure I had to work to get the meat out like a conquistador but OL laughed as crab juice spurted out at him. The meal was delicious. The glass noodles were so yummie. OL had the beef in oyster sauce.
For desert I had a coconut sundae and OL had the bananas in coconut milk.
Then we rested in room, susncreened up and hit the pool.
Later we walked to Lucky Tom’s for dinner. I had the chicken fried rice which was the best fried rice I’ve ever had. You could taste every ingredient that went into.
OL had the pineapple curry with pork. For desert, I had the fried bananas which were the best in Phuket. Big pieces of banana with a thin fried shell.
Then we walked back to hotel, searching for the book mark man who made 3-D book marks out of metal. He was no where to be found.
We ended the night with final souvenir shopping with Nana near our hotel. They have the most reasonable prices around. Got a few more statues and bags. Watched Meerkat Manor and went to bed.
Awoke to rain. But in Thailand the weather is very fluid. So we ate breakfast. A scrumptious crab meat Thai omelette with toast and coffee for me. Yogurt and muesli for OL.
Rain continued so we headed to room for some reading/blogging. Two hours later, starting to clear up and we realize we are hungry.
We head up to Lucky Tom’s for another wonderful meal. I have chicken satay and ginger chicken. OL had pork with red curry paste. We both had Thai iced teas and split the mango and sticky rice.
And I kicked OL’s ass at Connect Four.
We checked out Karon beach. Gorgeous waves but so not wading there. Way too rough. Headed back to Kata took more pics. Got to room and sun screened up. Took about 20 minutes. By time I was done, sky turned from blue to gray and threatening.
I still kept t-shirt on for sun protection.
OL overruled beach and we went to pool. Lucky too. Downpour in pool. So pretty and so refreshing to be rained on in pool. The water’s surface looks so amazing as the rain kisses it.
Swam for 40 minutes until cleared up.
Then went in search of Kata Noi beach. Thought we found it. Walked the whole thing. Gorgeous turquoise shaded water. Go to end and followed road back to main road. Near Lucky Tom’s. Turned out we were on Kata beach not Kata Noi.
Here’s the funny part, we convinced ourselves it was Kata Noi and so much prettier than Kata beach. Lol.
We walked all the way home. Changed and went to dinner at The Orchid. Had deep fried squid, chicken with peanut sauce and lemon pancake. But the lemon center was used and was too bitter. Ruined the pancake for me.
We picked up laundry and promptly refolded it. All wrinkly. But smelled great. Repacked suitcases.
OL showered and is now brushing his teeth. I’m getting ready to shower.
Another chill day in paradise.



























































































