Dog Days of Winter

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I lay down in the snow one day and just looked up at the trees. When I lived in the city, Emerson and I would take walks and go lay on a bench and stare up at the trees. I don’t know why I stopped making time for that, so I’m going to do more of it this year.

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Reagan has this new game in the snow, she takes a tennis ball, buries it, and then digs it out. This provides such entertainment for her. And as the snow goes flying past me, I can’t help but laugh.

We also play ball a few times a week. She does this thing where she bit the ball with her nose back at you to play catch. Hilarious.

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Emerson and I have been playing more. He loves to take my old clothes and beat them up and chew on them.

He can make a game out of anything. Sometimes we are lying in bed and I move and he decides it’s a game and starts attacking me.

It’s funny what amuses animals. And how much it amuses me to watch them.

What do your pets do that makes you smile or laugh?

 

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Taking My Time

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I spent the past year rushing. Rushing to get revisions done. Rushing to line up promo events. Rushing to create marketing materials. Rushing. Rushing. Rushing.

I can’t remember a single moment where I wasn’t trying to do something faster or feeling like I was behind.

And in the end, I got sick. A prolonged, frustrating sick.

That brings me to today. I’m working at 75-80% of my usual abilities. I can’t rush. When I do, everything gets messed up.

And I realize I hate rushing. It sucks the joy out of what I’m doing.

So I’d rather do things at a more reasonable pace and actually, well, enjoy my life.

I’m done putting tons of pressure on myself to be faster and faster. I’m actually going to aim to be a little slower with things.

My goal for 2017: I’m going to do less in more time.

 

 

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A Little Update…

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I hope everyone had a good holiday. It’s been a touch road lately, but I’m making progress.

My vertigo turned out to be a kind that doesn’t just clear up on its own. I’ve been going to vestibular therapy all month. In early December, I could barely stand and was dealing with constant nausea and motion sickness. I lost time, forget simple things, had trouble putting a sentence together, and felt like nothing was real. Like I wasn’t here.

I can stand now. I can walk a mile. I can stand at the board to teach again for my classes. I can think and I feel here again. Serious progress.

But I am still struggling with turning my head or moving my eyes when I do things. Both set off the vertigo. I’m not driving yet. My therapy requires that I do things that make my condition worse until my body acclimatizes to it. It’s working, but it’s slower than I’d like.

I’m not back to my old self. Not in terms of energy or balance or focus. Not yet. But I’m hoping that I will be by this spring.

I’m teaching two courses at school and I’m in editorial revisions for the sequel to The Girl Who Ignored Ghosts. The publisher has it set for an October 2017 release. And I’ve got to get my therapy exercises in twice a day every day to continue to get better.

I can’t be back on social media the way I used to be. For now, I will post to my blog twice a month and check in on FB and Twitter weekly.

 

 

 

 

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Blog Break

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I’ve been trying to keep up with as many of my normal activities as I can, but I’m constantly tired and I feel worn through. The vertigo continues and I just need to step back for a few weeks. I’m going to take a blog break for a month. And I’m going to limit my social media.

I just need to take some time for myself right now.

I’ll still check in once a week on social media, but I won’t be there daily. If you need to reach me, please email me.

Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season and a great new year. I’ll see you back here in mid-January.

Hugs!

 

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Life Lessons from Movies

High Strung

Believe in yourself. Never ever give up on your dreams.

 

Odd Thomas

Everyone has their quirks. Embrace yours and be the best you that you can be.

 

Camp Rock

It’s easier to lose yourself than to take a chance and be you. But you risk losing everything when you blend in instead of standing out.

 

I Give It A Year

Sometimes you have to admit a major life mistake and let go of what you thought you wanted to get what you really want.

 

Spending a good part of my day in bed, I’m catching up on movies. These are just a few of the life lessons I’ve learned from movies this week. Any movies you’d recommend that gave you a sudden insight?

 

Posted in Movies | Tagged , , , , , | 20 Comments

When You Start to Spin

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November has been a tough month. Mostly because when something is wrong, it’s my instinct to hide it. Ignore it and pretend it’s not happening. I’m incredibly good at rationalizing away whatever bad, scary thing is happening until it overwhelms me.

In early November, I stared having episodes of dizziness and lightheadedness. Feeling like I was rocking when I wasn’t–it reminded me of motion sickness. I thought it was stress. Then I blamed a virus.

I pushed myself to keep going because this wasn’t serious. I was fine. I was fine. I was fine.

The episodes grew more frequent and started interfering with my thinking. Everyday tasks became harder to perform. I had to focus to make breakfast. I started doing things out of order. I was mixing up words when I spoke. My short term memory was hazy. I felt like I was drunk without touching a sip of liquor.  My mind wasn’t mine anymore.

I didn’t say anything. Because if I said something that would make it real and this was too scary to make real.

Finally, I decided it had to be a bad ear infection. That’s how I convinced myself to go to the doctor. By telling myself it was simple and treatable. When I went to the doctor, he ran a few tests and ruled out certain things. Unfortunately, it’s not a middle ear infection.

Right now, we think it’s an inner ear issue. I have to wait two weeks for a test to determine what inner ear issue it is (there are over a dozen possibilities) or if it’s actually a problem with my brain. (They cannot treat the vertigo until they are clear on what is causing it.)

A week ago, things got really bad. I started talking slower and having trouble organizing my words into sentences. My ears started hurting–deep inside my skull. And ringing–constantly ringing.

I had trouble walking. The dizziness and lightheadedness and spinning feeling all became constant. The nausea was overwhelming. I’d forget to eat because I was so sick. Headaches became my daily companions. My scalp tingled and I got these weird rushes up the back of my head like I was going to faint, but I didn’t.

Right now, that’s all still happening.

If I sneeze, laugh, cough, or blow my nose, I lose all sense of balance. It feels like I actually move a foot outside of my body going either up or forward. I have to grab onto something solid or risk falling over.

It’s incredibly scary. So I wanted to be honest with you, my readers and my friends.

I can’t function like I used to. I can only be on the computer for limited amounts of time because it makes all my symptoms worse. It’s no longer just me spinning, the ground actually feels like it’s undulating beneath me and the room sometimes tilts.

The scariest part is feeling like I’m losing myself.

I wear sea sickness bands to cut the nausea down. I lie in bed and watch movies because that makes the world and me stop spinning. And I try really hard to do some of my normal tasks like dishes and laundry. They require so much more focus and energy than they ever have.

But I’m still here. And that counts.

 

 

 

 

Posted in illness, Personal | Tagged , , , , , , , | 50 Comments

Highway Thirteen’s Blog Tour Stops

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This week, I’ll be on these blogs chatting about my book! On A Writer’s Mind, I’m sharing my favorite scene, genres I like to write, and how the cover relates to the book!
November 21 Spotlight
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November 23 Interview
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November 24 Thanksgiving
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November 25 Spotlight
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November 28 Guest Post
Roxanne’s Realm
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Butternut Blast Giveaway is wrapping up at the end of the month, if you’d like a chance to be a character in the next Six Train book, win Butternut goodies, or an Amazon gift card, please get your entries in by 11/30!
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Happy Thanksgiving!
Posted in blog tour, book launch, Giveaways | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Highway Thirteen’s Blog Tour Continues

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Highway Thirteen to Manhattan’s book tour continues!
This week’s interview reveals my favorite foods, dream trip, and if I write to music. The guest blog is about how to create memorable characters.
The giveaways are still going on too! So swing by any of these posts and chat with me!
November 14 Spotlight
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November 14 Spotlight
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November 15 Spotlight
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November 16 Spotlight
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November 16 Review
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November 17 Interview
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November 18 Review
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November 18 Guest Blog
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I have an author appearance this weekend too. If you’re in CT/MA/RI and you want to get a signed copy, please stop by!
November 20th from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. In South Windsor, CT, at Maneeley’s (65 Rye St.) at the 2nd Annual Crafts Show: signing and selling books.
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