This weekend, I went home for a close family friend’s birthday. He’s been a hallmark in my life since…let’s just say a while. 😛 Anyway, he’s been my mom’s bff for decades. He’s in his 80s and has had a couple health problems, but was pretty healthy until he developed Alzheimers.
Recently, he’s been on a downward slide–losing weight, forgetting how to complete simple tasks. He’s gotten into a couple car accidents involving himself and a tree or a boulder. Luckily, no one was ever injured. But it’s clear he cannot keep going much longer on his own.
This vibrant outgoing talkative man has become quiet and a shadow of his former self. And it is inevitable. We all will go into decline at some point.
It got me thinking about how much worse it is to be left behind. Whether it be when someone emotionally outgrows you or physically moves away or even dies. To remain without them hurts. And I’ve started to believe that dying isn’t as hard as remaining behind. Maybe, it’s because I’m still here so all I’ve experienced is the being left.
But from my current vantage point, being left is far worse than leaving. I’m not saying that growing old and dying are easy. Hell no. But relative to being without someone you love and going forward in your daily life with a big gaping hole there, I gotta believe that dying is easier.
Maybe I am naïve. But that’s what’s rolling around in my brain today. What do you think? Easier to leave or be left?