It’s not an everyday thing. But some mornings, after I finish my breakfast, FB, emails. It comes.
The Fear. That today I won’t know where to begin my writing. That I’ll sit at the laptop frozen in terror. That my abilities won’t come. That I won’t be enough anymore.
It’s a freaky discombobulating sensation. An anchor dragging me down. While a frenzy of anxiety fireworks shoot off in my mind.
What if today is the day that I can’t do it anymore?
What if I don’t have any more ideas or enhancements to the manuscript?
What if I just can’t do it?
Blind searing panic. Rips open the door on self doubt. The naysayers in my own mind gnaw at me.
And then I force myself to sit down. To start the editing. Sometimes the gears are rusty, but my mind eventually finds the grooves.
And if I can’t edit, I story storm the next book. Type some bullet points for the outline that I haven’t drafted yet.
And if that doesn’t work, I write the blog.
Worst case, I send an oh-my-God-I’ll-never-write-again email to a friend.
Anything to get the writing juices flowing.
It’s been 5 years of writing stories. And this still happens. I think it’s just a part of the writing life.
The fear is always there. The coping mechanisms just get more refined and so what could paralyze you for a week can be condensed down to 15 minutes.
How do you cope with anxiety? The fear of writer’s block/losing your muse?