Grandma H Sleepover

Last week, I spend a few days and nights with Grandma H. She reminds me a lot of the desert. You think things are pretty boring, but then something jumps out at you.

Grandma H is reading her book on Jackie O at the kitchen table. She’s eating a hodgepodge of leftovers and drinking 7 Up out of the can.

I’m sitting at the other end of the table on my MacBook Pro working on my manuscript.

For some weird reason when I get a drink of water I feel the need to remind her about liquids being dangerous to my computer. So I say, “I’m putting my glass of water on the other side of the table because my laptop cannot get wet. Ever.”

She nods, “Smart idea.”

Not 5 seconds later she reaches for her 7 Up and knocks the entire can over. I leap up, set the can to rights, pull my cord away from the spillage, move my papers from the mess. We both grab paper towels. Luckily, the table runner and newspaper caught most of the liquid.

It’s my Auntie’s table runner. I look at Grandma H and say, “Oh, you’re in trouble.”

She takes the runner out on the front porch to dry out.

When she comes back in she goes, “And you just said to be careful too.”

“I guess you weren’t really listening.”

She laughs.

Later on, I hand wash the table runner in detergent and we let it dry outside. By the next day we can put it back on the table. Crisis adverted.
******

We are in the car. Grandma H handed me the key. I try to give them back to her, but she’s pinned my arm behind hers so everytime she reaches for them she pushes my arm further back.

She gets frustrated, “I can’t reach the keys.”
I say, “Well, stop pushing my arm back and let me hand them to you.”
She bursts out laughing when she realizes she had my arm pinned back.
******
I come home from lunch with a friend and Grandma H sees the leftovers in my hand. “Oh good, I hoped you’d bring food back.”
“Why? I still have my tuna melt from yesterday,” I say.
“No, you don’t. I ate it. By accident,” she says.
“How do you eat a tuna melt by accident?” I ask.
“I was finishing the leftovers. I was half way through eating it when I realized what it was.”
I burst out laughing. Tuna is the most pungent food. “How did you not taste it?”
“Well, you put a lot of cheese on it.”
*******
Grandma has a tv schedule that starts at 7pm: Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, Mary Tyler Moore, Dick Van Dyke, All in The Family, the news. Grandma goes to bed at 10ish. But I don’t go to bed until 12/1 ish.
Grandma tells me, “I can’t fall asleep until you’re upstairs.”
“But I need to work,” I say.
“You work too much,” she says.
Mind you I cut my computer time to 1/3 when I was with her. LOL
******
All time favorite moment:
We are in the kitchen and Grandma H announces, “I’m going to take my bath, I’ll be five minutes.”
It takes at least 5 minutes to run the bath. I laugh. “I don’t need to get in the shower for an hour.”
“I’ll be two minutes,” she says.

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22 Responses to Grandma H Sleepover

  1. Haha she’s a cutie!

  2. Cat Forsley says:

    GRANDMA H RULES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    OMG ———— THE TUNA PART ๐Ÿ™‚
    SUCH BEAUTY AND INNOCENCE AND THE 7 UP !!!!!!!!
    YOU ALWAYS HAVE ME SMILING XOXOXO C

    • LOL. It was pretty hysterical. I’m still not sure how she ate half my tuna melt without realizing what she was doing. My Auntie swears Grandma H eats all the leftover so anything in the fridge is fair game to her. ๐Ÿ™‚ Aw, glad to make you smile.

  3. La La says:

    I โค grandmas. Mine sees dead people.

  4. crubin says:

    Thanks for more great stories! In the past, I told you that you should compile a book of Grandma H antics. Well, you still should, but I also think there is a definite sitcom in this. You might want to get in touch with some Hollywood producers. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Bluesander says:

    Your Grandma sounds like she has quite the character. I love it. Your writing brought her to life.

  6. jmmcdowell says:

    I always look forward to your grandmother posts. ๐Ÿ™‚ The sitcom sounds like a great idea, but some of your stories are so funny, the producers might think no one would believe them!

  7. It's the little things that make life great.berry says:

    I want my own grandma h. She sounds like a blast. Living with her is the best. Lucky u.

  8. Laura says:

    There needs to be a show based on Grandma H!

  9. 4amWriter says:

    That sounds great, like a little camp-out with Grandma H. Love the 7-Up spillage, too funny.

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