The Giving Up Moments

Last summer in Nai Harn, I had a giving up moment. You know one of those moments where you just admit it isn’t working and give up.

I sat in a lounge chair, watching the ocean slip away from the shore and I thought, “This is heaven. This is happiness.”

And I realized that I wanted this. To feel this calm and content.

I didn’t need anything else. In that moment, I was certain I could give up my writing. That I could be complete without it. That traveling could be my new passion.

I didn’t say a word to my friend. I just let that moment happen. It wasn’t a decision I made, but a decision I contemplated.

An option that never existed before in my mind.

So I let it linger there as I traveled.

And the traveling began to wear on me.

Getting pick-pocketed really rocked my center of gravity.

And the one thing that helped me make sense of it?

Writing.

So those giving up moments–embrace them. They remind us that writing is a choice. An option. And deep down, a necessity.

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37 Responses to The Giving Up Moments

  1. 4amWriter says:

    Kourtney, I know these moments all too well. And yes, writing is a blending of want and desire. At the end of the day, writers need to write and want to keep writing–no matter what.

  2. kford2007 says:

    I’ve tried not to write. It’s impossible. I’m glad you decided to keep going, too, otherwise, we would have never ‘met’.

    • It was weird because though I was writing daily blogs, I wasn’t writing fiction. And I didn’t miss it. But I think it was because I was so caught up in the travel and my mind needed a break from world building after finishing my second book. Me too. How sad would it be to have never crossed paths with such a cool YA writer like you! ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. what a wonderful visual of an important moment. thanks for sharing it, Kourtney. how are you feeling?

    • Thanks Louise! The nerve pain has decreased. Typing still aggravates it so I try to limit my time online and use dictation software often ๐Ÿ™‚ Hoping to start commenting on blogs a bit soon. Physical therapy is going well. I like and trust the person working on me, which is really important. ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Oh yessss, I can relate to this. And yet, just like you, I always come back to the writing. Beautiful!

  5. Pete Denton says:

    I’ve tried to give up several times. I’ve gone years without writing, but the seeds of a story lurk in the back on my mind. It is nice when something spurs you on to throw yourself back into your writing. Shame it took what happened for it to do that for you, but in the long term good for your future readers ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Sometimes, life would be a lot easier if I could give up. Did you find those years not writing, renewed your energy or taught you that you had to write? I haven’t walked away for long periods yet. It’s funny how life reminded me that writing was not just something I did, it was how I processed the world around me and made sense of things. Yeah, it was a tough experience. At the time it left me very shaken up and angry. But I guess if it hadn’t happened, I might not be writing this right now. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Pete Denton says:

        It made me more determined to finish my novel. I didn’t write, but I had so many pieces of paper with comments about characters or plot points to consider. I did everything apart from actually write ๐Ÿ™‚

        I needed to study creative writing and experience editing to feel confident enough to write again. Without that I wouldn’t be writing now.

        • Pete, that sounds like time well spent! It’s funny how you can look back on life and trace the path that got you to here, but at the time you had no idea where it would go. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m glad you took that route in your writing again.

  6. crubin says:

    Traveling gives one a new perspective on everything. But for the most part, it is lovely to return home and get back to life. I, for one, am glad you did not give up. ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. There are times like this week where I get discouraged and decide that I suck at writing and need to do something else. Then my mind will start on another thought train or a story and I start again. I get discouraged and feel dried out creatively. I’m glad I’m going to the ocean this weekend. Always makes me whole again.

    • I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a discouraging week. As someone who reads your blog, I absolutely promise your writing is good! It draws me in, it keeps me coming back and that’s just your blog. But easily understand that that’s something you have to feel your way through. I hope you have an amazing time at the ocean and pick up a few seashells. ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. EllaDee says:

    Great post reminding us sometimes you need to take a break from what you are doing, being, to gain a little perspective, and go back to it, if you choose, fresh ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Thanks! I have to admit my critique partner and I have a weekly Skype chat on Mondays and what we talk about sometimes inspires blog posts like this one. Perspective is so important. Besides the blog, I haven’t written much in June. I’ve been devouring novels. Read books on the craft of fiction. I think my mind needed a short break from writing. Feels like I’ve been drafting and revising since last September. Hoping to throw myself back into revising later in the month.

  9. jmmcdowell says:

    Sometimes the mind and Muse need some time off, I think. If someone stops writing as a result, it probably wasn’t meant to be. But when you keep coming back to itโ€”you’re a writer. We’re all glad you are and are looking forward to the day when your books are in print. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • I totally agree with you, JM. My break reminded me that I can live without writing but I’d rather live with it. ๐Ÿ™‚ Aw, thank you! I I look forward to the day that both our books are on sale in paper copy and E-books. ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Nice to live in the moment. Sometime you just need to float.
    (Your brain is working on stuff – but hasn’t told you yet)
    You’ll be paddling along again.
    Meanwhile enjoy the centering – it has more benefits than anyone guesses

    • Some of the best moments are when I can stop worrying about the future and just be in the present. Sometimes the thinking and the not acting is the best thing you can do. ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. mj monaghan says:

    Oh, my friend, but never leave the ocean. Bring your laptop, with a good charge, and you’re all set! ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. Great post–full of insight and irony.

  13. So true! And sometimes we need that break to remember what we love!

  14. berry says:

    Its easy to. Give up. Harder to try. Life happens. Just go with it.

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