Beauty of A Woman BlogFest: Lessons from Grandma H

boaw-2013

This week there will be a Thursday post instead of a Friday post because I am participating in August McLaughlin’s amazing Beauty of a Woman BlogFest tour.

Today, I’d like to share some life lessons from a woman who inspires me, who continually teaches me how to be more comfortable in my own skin, who owns who she is and invites others to do the same:

Grandma H.

1) Grandma H knows exactly what she wants and isn’t afraid to demand it.

We went to the drugstore to get Ambesol to help with her toothache. I suggest Orajel, but she overrules me. She tells me she wants the gel, not the cream. I try to recommend a few, but she wants to know about every type of tooth pain reliever there on the shelves.

She grabs one and demands, “What about this one?”

“Um, well it’s for braces pain.”

“Put it back.”

When we get to the check out counter, she tells me, “Get three cents.”

She pulls out a ten dollar bill and checks three time to make sure it’s only a single ten. Then she tells me to check it again.

Finally, we complete the transaction and the saleswoman says, “Have a nice day.”

Grandma H responds, “Whatever.”

2) Grandma H selects a phrase of the day and employs it throughout our adventures.

“Mother of good God.”

3) Grandma H loves being appreciated

As we drive to the mall, I tell her, “All my blog followers love you. They want me to say hi to you from them. They rush to read your posts.”

She replies, “Oh, my public likes me.”

4) Grandma H isn’t ashamed of where she came from

“Is that the pond you swam in as a kid?” I ask.

“We’d come out of the water covered in bloodsuckers.”

“Why’d you keep swimming there?” I ask.

“It was so refreshing and so close to home. You just had to yank them out.”

5) Grandma H doesn’t give up

We have a routine at the mall. We go in and immediately hit the lotto seller. Then we sit on a bench so she can scratch them off. If she wins, we buy more. If she loses, we buy more. Then we make our way to Ihop.

At Ihop, Grandma H and I split a meal. I start to place the order and realize this breakfast doesn’t include pancakes. So I ask her, “Is that okay?”

She says, “I don’t want the god damn pancakes, they’re usually cold.”

The waitress says, “It comes with toast.”

I’m lowcarbing and Grandma H has a toothache so nothing hard to eat. “No toast.”

Grandma H says, “I’ll take the toast.”

“With your teeth?” I ask.

“Just bring lots of butter to soften it up,” she tells the waitress.

6) Grandma H isn’t afraid to make a mistake

We are talking about Grandma H’s teeth problems.

I say, “Mom said you had scarlet fever when you were younger.”

Grandma H says, “Two o’clock.”

“What?”

“Two.”

“When you were two?”

“Yes, when I was two years old,” she explains like I’m the ninny.

Later she tells me, “Your uncle went into the tunnel.”

“He went where?”

“The tunnel. For his back.”

“You mean the MRI machine?” I ask.

“Yeah that tunnel thing.”

7) Grandma H can joke about anything

Grandma H keeps repeatedly taking ice cubes from my glass.

I tell her, “If it falls in your cleavage, I’m not going to get it out.”

She looks at me, “I’d rather stick it in your cleavage.”

We both burst out laughing.

In celebration of the Beauty of a Women BlogFest, here’s a list of the other  bloggers participating in this epic event! If you have a second, please check them out.

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60 Responses to Beauty of A Woman BlogFest: Lessons from Grandma H

  1. kathils says:

    Yes, I do love your Grandma H posts. She is spectacular. 😀

  2. Thank you for my smiles today lovely post. Here’s to Grandmother’s Everywhere we rock! 🙂

  3. Carrie Rubin says:

    Grandma H is right–her public does like her. In fact, we love her! But now, if I ever go eat at Ihop, I’ll be wishing Grandma H was there. In my mind, she’s becoming synonymous with the place. 😉

  4. 4amWriter says:

    Love Grandma H. We need a T-shirt or something to honor her with. 🙂

  5. jmmcdowell says:

    Your grandmother is one of a kind, you lucky girl! 🙂

  6. EllaDee says:

    You, and Grandma H. make my day… I’d like to franchise her 🙂

  7. I’d rather stick it in your cleavage?!? No way. LOL I was so happy to see Grandma H in your post title. 🙂 As always, she and your narrative do not disappoint!

    Thanks so much for joining the fest, Kourtney. I hope you enjoy the heck out of it!

    • I had a tank top on. LOL. It gave me great cleavage. Though I never thought Grandma H would notice. 😉 Aw thanks! Glad her stories fit so perfectly with your blogfest. I’ve read a few of the other posts, they are all amazing and touching. Can’t wait to make the rounds tomorrow! 🙂

  8. berry says:

    How funny is that. Love grandma h. Shes a hoot. Pure and simple.

  9. Sue says:

    Found your blog thru the BOAW Blogfest. Too funny! I think my mom is turning into your Grandma H. Except the only swear word she will say is “shit”.

    • Lovely to meet you, Sue! Thanks for popping by. I love August’s BOAW Blogfest. So happy I could participate this year. LOL. It’s a slippery slope. Grandma H used to constantly get on me for swearing then slowly I wore her down and she started letting a few fly.

  10. Pingback: Come on in and sit right down and make yourself at home | elladee_words

  11. Still smiling, smiled through the whole post. Thanks for sharing Kourtney. I love your grandmother’s attitude. “You just had to yank them out.” See? That kind of matter of fact statement kind of just sums up life. You enjoy, you deal. Love this post!

  12. Pingback: The Beauty of a Woman BlogFest II! | August McLaughlin's Blog

  13. Your grandma H sounds like a “hoot”.

  14. She sounds like she is a hoot!

  15. Catherine Johnson says:

    Your grandma sounds just like my late grandma. She once has to squeeze past somebody quite chubby in a restaurant and she said something like too many pies and I’m sure she squeezed his belly or something. :0)

  16. Michel King says:

    Oh my gosh! That is awesome! Reminds me of my Grandma. She started a conversation once by nearly shouting into a silent room, “Zeke was the ugliest man I ever went with.” There are just some things you can’t respond to witha straight face. LOL

    • LOL. So glad you enjoyed the post! There is no way you can keep a straight face in response to that. 🙂 Your grandma sounds amazing! That’s also a great opening line for a book–you should definitely use it.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

  17. Pingback: The Beauty of a Woman | J. Keller Ford ~ Author

  18. Your grandma is hilarious! She reminds me of my great-aunt Marie, who’s 96, and says: “When you get to my age, you say what you want and don’t care what anyone else thinks!”

  19. Bill Parker says:

    I loved this. She sounds delightful, and just like almost everyone else here, reminds me of my own grandma…which has to at least partly be a function of how well it was written. 🙂

  20. Your grandmother is a fun, rich and wonderful. Great post. Thanks for sharing.

  21. donnagalanti says:

    Love your grandma! Reminds me of my mother who embarrassed me as a teen because she was so loud, talked to everyone she met and couldnt sing at church for anything. I now laugh thinking of how she was – she was not afraid to be her unique self. Now that she is gone I try and embrace that too. I wrote about her inspiring me in my BOAW post too. Great post here!

    • Thanks Donna! Aw, that’s the same lesson I take away from Grandma H. I’m trying to be more like her (minus the sassing salespeople and waitresses). I’m going to check out your BOAW post today. I can’t believe how many amazing bloggers participated. 🙂

  22. Jess Witkins says:

    Oh I do want to hug your grandma! The public does indeed love her. What great captures of someone that describe her so endearingly. I especially like her catchphrases. That cracked me up! Mother of good God!

    • Aw, thanks! She always wanted to be an actress. Never made it to Hollywood, but she entertains my family and my blog buddies. 🙂
      She was delighted with her catchphrase too. She kept telling me “I just like the way it sounds.”
      Thanks for coming by!

  23. I love your Grandma H. That’s all I have to say. 🙂

  24. Reblogged this on allergictolifemybattle and commented:
    From Beauty of a Woman Blogfest II. I found this both funny and charming. Who doesn’t want a grandma H in their lives?

  25. Grandma H – Now there’s a beautiful woman! I’ll be coming back here in the future in the hope of reading more about your adventures together.

  26. Wow, Kourtney, how nice of you to include all the links! Your Grandma H sounds like a hoot! I miss my grandmothers. Wish they were still around for those reality checks we all need from time to time.

    • Thanks. THE BOAW bloggers are all so awesome. It’s gonna take me a bit of time to visit all the posts, but they are really talented writers with something truly remarkable to share. 🙂 She keeps us all on our toes. She’s definitely the wise old woman of my world. Grandmas are great for that. Sorry yours left this world too soon. 😦

  27. Julie Glover says:

    There’s this small part of me that is almost eager to grow old enough that I can just say whatever the heck I want and people will call me funny and wise. Your grandma sounds like a real-life adventure.

    • Me too. Though, I don’t envy all the aches and pains that come with old age. She sure seems to make the best of aging though. She’s a non-stop roller tilt a whirl ride. You never know what she’ll say or who she might say it to. 🙂

  28. Oh, my God, what a delightful character your Grandma H sounds to be!

    “2) Grandma H selects a phrase of the day and employs it throughout our adventures.
    ‘Mother of good God.'” She’s a woman after my own heart. On some days, for no reason in particular I can fathom except that I heard Sally Field use it on an episode of BROTHERS AND SISTERS, I employ the phrase “Holy mother of God.”

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful Grandma H, and this post.

    • Thanks Ellen! I’m so happy I have her in my life. And that I can share some of the best moments with her here on the blog. LOL. I do it too. A phrase gets caught in my head and suddenly it’s my reaction to everything for a week. 😉 I like your catch phrase too. Thanks so much for stopping by! 🙂

  29. Grandma H is a real treasure..she probably knows that. Maybe you should do a Grandma H’s phrase of the day post?
    Thanks for the list – will have to explore!

    • LOL. I’ll remind her. 🙂 That’s a good idea. I’ll have to see if she’ll let me pick her brain. Maybe a phrase of the week. 🙂 I’ve been making my way down the list. So much beautiful outpouring of thoughts and emotions. Savoring each one.

  30. Grandma H sounds wonderful! 🙂

  31. rachelmeeks says:

    This is awesome, what a character! I think this is the kind of little old lady I’ll be. 😉

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