Tag Archives: grandma

Things Grandma H Said

I’m sitting at the kitchen table with Grandma H and she tells me, “We have to go back to the cemetery. We made a mess of the graves.” My jaw drops. “We put those fake flowers where the crocuses will … Continue reading

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Springtime with Grandma H

Ah, Springtime. When everything returns to life. New beginnings. With Grandma H, it’s grave cleaning time. She pulls into the cemetery driveway and tells me, “You are the look out. If you see a rapist, you tell me.” “Uh..okay?” I … Continue reading

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The Things My Grandma Says

Today Grandma H and I went on our weekly outing. I needed to drop off two snail mail queries for agents at our local post office. Grandma hates parking. She pulls in and goes “Uh-oh.” There’s a freaking oil truck … Continue reading

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Conversations With Grandma

Yesterday, Grandma H picked me up for our weekly getabouting. Inevitably, we both have errands to run before we get to the lunching at IHOP. After I tell her what errands I need to run, she says, “I need to … Continue reading

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Wig Shopping with Grandma

  (This is not a picture of Grandma in her new wig.)   Last Wednesday, Grandma H decided we would add wig shopping to our to-do list. Grandma H has a good head of hair, but she doesn’t like having … Continue reading

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Grandma Casts Me in a Lifetime Movie

Grandma H and I always have the weirdest conversations. Case in point, I get in her car and mention, “This seat is all screwed up.” She says, “You know why? We had to put Russ’s wheelchair in the backseat.” “Why?” … Continue reading

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The Absurd and The Uncanny

Yesterday Mom and I were running errands. Question: Would you pay money for these flowers? Even at the dollar store?     I wouldn’t. They look knocking-on-death’s-door ill.     How was your Memorial Day weekend? I had back-to-back picnics … Continue reading

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Grandma is a Creature of Consistency

My grandmother is a creature of consistency. Any divergence from the norm merits a reaction. Case in point, we are at IHOP and they bring her strawberry and banana pancakes. She didn’t expect the whip cream and demands, “What’s this?” … Continue reading

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